Square Peg, Round Hole
I want to talk about the dichotomy between what we feel we should be doing (based on societal, familial or self-imposed pressures) and what we feel called to do.
This is something I have seen play out in my own life in a big way.
I have the mind and heart of a maker and a dreamer but I have lived most of my life based on what I felt I should be doing. And of course it didn't really work out that well. In fact it even lead one of my besties to say that my base state was torpor. At first I had no idea what she was talking about. I actually had to look up torpor and found that it basically meant laziness. I was mad! Hella mad with a capital M, A, D! How dare she say that about me!
But now, a few years removed from the conversation, I understand where she was coming from. My friend is a driver and a doer. She was made for work and I was not. Working the job I was supposed to have was slowly killing me. I was resentful and it showed in my work. The supposed to life was not for me and I needed to accept that.
I have always known I wanted to create. I love making things, jewelry, crochet and writing stories. As a child I filled notebooks with stories and ideas. I created things and tried to sell my creations. I loved it. I was happy. But I did not think that I could do this as an adult. I had no idea that creative people had jobs where they created for a living. I was not an artist or an author, those are jobs that people can do. What I did was crafty therefore it had to be a hobby.
So I started down the career path I was going to get a job, a good job, because that is what I thought I had to do. I went to school. I got a job which lead to an idea. I went to more school to follow that idea. I was interested in what I was studying but I wasn't sure that I was interested enough to actually do it every day. But I did it.
A funny thing happened on my path to a career. It was not a straight line. In fact I started building barriers so I would have to go a different way. I worked in my chosen field. I hated and went in a different direction. I left to take a leap into my dreams. Real life came calling and I went back to my previous career because I was supposed to. This cycle carried on for almost 10 years and I was miserable for most of it.
I was given a gift when I was able to stay home with my children. I was able to be with the people I loved and I was able to explore things that I loved to do. I wrote. I created. I was happy. I am happy.
When the time came to re-enter the working world, I had choices to make. I had options. I knew that I didn't have to do anything because I was supposed to. I've tried things that didn't work out and then tried others. I learned about myself. I looked at what I liked, what I didn't like and what I love. Then I took what I learned and found a new dream, one that excited me like no other. A dream, this dream, that I took a chance on and am working to make in to something.
Where do you fall? Are you following your dreams or are you living a "supposed to" life? I'd love to hear from you.
This is something I have seen play out in my own life in a big way.
I have the mind and heart of a maker and a dreamer but I have lived most of my life based on what I felt I should be doing. And of course it didn't really work out that well. In fact it even lead one of my besties to say that my base state was torpor. At first I had no idea what she was talking about. I actually had to look up torpor and found that it basically meant laziness. I was mad! Hella mad with a capital M, A, D! How dare she say that about me!
But now, a few years removed from the conversation, I understand where she was coming from. My friend is a driver and a doer. She was made for work and I was not. Working the job I was supposed to have was slowly killing me. I was resentful and it showed in my work. The supposed to life was not for me and I needed to accept that.
I have always known I wanted to create. I love making things, jewelry, crochet and writing stories. As a child I filled notebooks with stories and ideas. I created things and tried to sell my creations. I loved it. I was happy. But I did not think that I could do this as an adult. I had no idea that creative people had jobs where they created for a living. I was not an artist or an author, those are jobs that people can do. What I did was crafty therefore it had to be a hobby.
So I started down the career path I was going to get a job, a good job, because that is what I thought I had to do. I went to school. I got a job which lead to an idea. I went to more school to follow that idea. I was interested in what I was studying but I wasn't sure that I was interested enough to actually do it every day. But I did it.
A funny thing happened on my path to a career. It was not a straight line. In fact I started building barriers so I would have to go a different way. I worked in my chosen field. I hated and went in a different direction. I left to take a leap into my dreams. Real life came calling and I went back to my previous career because I was supposed to. This cycle carried on for almost 10 years and I was miserable for most of it.
I was given a gift when I was able to stay home with my children. I was able to be with the people I loved and I was able to explore things that I loved to do. I wrote. I created. I was happy. I am happy.
When the time came to re-enter the working world, I had choices to make. I had options. I knew that I didn't have to do anything because I was supposed to. I've tried things that didn't work out and then tried others. I learned about myself. I looked at what I liked, what I didn't like and what I love. Then I took what I learned and found a new dream, one that excited me like no other. A dream, this dream, that I took a chance on and am working to make in to something.
Where do you fall? Are you following your dreams or are you living a "supposed to" life? I'd love to hear from you.
Comments
Post a Comment